NOT OUT OF MIND
Written and edited by Althea Hayton
Published by Arthur James 1998
Distributed by Wren Publications
Pregnancy is a beautiful, incredible, miraculous time for a family. The miracle of creating new life is extraordinary and without equal. For many it is the greatest moment in their life, and the beginning of an incredible creative chapter. But although pregnancy has never been safer, it is not without its risks, and there are times when things can go wrong.
The loss of a child early in life, or before birth, is a tragic event that is difficult for everyone to process emotionally. What is less often considered is that it is also a spiritual trauma for many mothers and families. Helplessness in one or both parents can feel overwhelming. The family can go into shock. The circumstances of each loss are very different. If it happens early in pregnancy, it can be hard to comprehend what's happened. There is often no funeral for closure. If the loss happens later, the parents are forced to go from expecting a baby to attending a funeral within just a few days. The mother can at times feel too unwell to attend, and she and the father can feel caught in an impossible situation.
The shock and pain can leave a scar deep in the psyche, but also deep in the soul of a parent or of parents so affected.
Processing and recovering from such loss and regaining a creative relationship to life and love takes time and help. These resources were created in the 1990s, and are still in print, offering support spiritually to parents coping with loss.
Even old wounds can be healed. Losses experienced years or decades ago can call out softly for a loving resolution. Indeed, new losses sometimes bring older, seemingly unrelated losses to the surface, as we are called to turn inwards.
About this book
This book, and its accompanying resources on this website, lift the lid on this strange, painful, agonising aspect of life. It can be hard to cope alone, but equally difficult to reach out, or to know what to do. While struggling, many have found spiritual support from holy writings, and simple forms of prayer a comfort and a support, soothing for the soul.
If you are going through loss of this nature, or you know someone who is and would like to be able to help, this book provides comprehensive guidance, suggestions and advice on how prayer, simple ritual and compassion can help. It even provides suggestions for shaping the kind of funeral ceremony you might want for your lost loved one.
A unique and essential book for families and ministers of religion of any Christian denomination.